I'll sport my brand new fashion of...

've basically just lost the best thing i'll ever have,

2005-05-26T22:31:14Z

well this is my 2nd entry today. i think necessary, you think loser. ok so i've been very fucked up the past while. i have a boyfriend. he's wonderful. he's perfect. his name's erik. he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. but it took me 'till now to fully realize it. god i'm such an asshole. no wonder i hate myself so much. i've finally discovered the reason. i always manage to hurt those who love me the most. i was somewhere today and i come home with an IM from him. he lives in MO. so i don't really get to talk to him much. i figured it was an "i love you" or "i miss you." no .. it was this |||mtnDEWinMYhead: ok well umm i read your live journal and to me it looks like youve found someone else you like and umm that im not really important anymore so if u break up with me ill understand and im sorry for everything i just want u to be happy so if it with that one guy then im happy for you...i just want you to know that no matter what ill always love you even if u dont love me or if your not with me...||| all because of the STUPID shit i've put in here about nicK! what the fuck was i thinking even thinking about having a chance with nick, let alone FUCKING UP WITH ERIK! god.

erik,
you probably hate me now. you have no reason not to. but i haven't cheated on you. i mean yeah i had a thing for him but you know how that is. i mean i fucked up and i know it. i don;t want to break up. i love you erik. i never meant to hurt you and i'm sorry if i did. you are important. you made me feel better about myself, not run away, and stop cutting. without you.. i'd be shit. and i'm not happy without you. i bitch to emalee all the time about how much i miss you and how i wish you were here. and i'll always love you too. we just need to talk.. ok?

<3 Lexx

PRO- FUCKING- CRASTINATOR...

2005-05-26T12:40:21Z

social studies project due third period. Lexx does it all in 1st. Lovely. It kinda look's like shit, but hey.. it IS mine. And i did put my effort into it, right? right. so i gave sir nicolas a note today. basically telling him if he needs anything, i'll be right there. you know to carry his books and shit. im such a sucker for a pretty face...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Cute Without The 'E' (Cut From The Team)"

Your lipstick, his collar.. don't bother Angel
I know exactly what goes on

When everything you'll get is
everything that you've wanted, princess
(well which would you prefer)
My finger on the trigger, or
(me face down, down across your floor)
Me face down, down across your floor
(me face down, down across your floor)
Well just so long as this thing's loaded

And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin
And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin
let's go...

Don't bother trying to explain Angel
I know exactly what goes on when you're on and
How about I'm outside of your window
(how about I'm outside of your window)
Watchin him keep the details covered
You're such a sucker (you're such a sucker)
for a sweet talker, yeah

And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin
(the only thing that I regret is that I, I never let you hold me back)
And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin

Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you never loved me
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you never loved me
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know...

Why can't I feel anything
from anyone other than you?
Why can't I feel anything
from anyone other than you?

And all of this was all your fault
And all of this

(I stay jealous)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life
(she'll destroy us all before she's through
and find a way to blame somebody else)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life
(she'll destroy us all before she's through
and find a way to blame somebody else)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
wrote nick the note and erik gave it to him. yes!

This captain goes down with his ship.. all hands on deck dance hip to hip...

2005-05-25T12:30:19Z

ok so. ... this morning i got to school early. Mike V. was there and i called him a faggot like i do every mourning and stupid fucker hit me with a rolled up paper. i'll murder. then, the palumbo's came. we went in the alley and came back in. by that time sir nicolas was hobbling into the cafeteria. aw. he makes me melt. =^( sadly, he will never be mine. damn me... "That I am not another stupid Little teenage fucking whore."-senses fail. I waved to him and he smiled at me. a fucking smile that could melt the sun. i feel like a ball of silly putty when i see him. i'm so pathetic. oh well. true love's always lost. so i think mike's trying to set me up with shawn. that's cute and all.. but he isn't nick. so me and emalee had a tiny quarrel this morning. i went to go sit out in the hallway to wait for nick to walk by and she didn't come. she was sitting with gary and ant. so when they left she came over to me and i told her to go away. and she's like what's wrong lexx? and i said oh now you can hang.. after your friends are gone? i told her to go hang with them. because if i ever do shit like that to her.. she's ready to like disown me.oh well. russell isn't here. lucky bastard probably stayed home.

you drive away.. from my carcrash of a heart...

2005-05-24T18:30:52Z

"Mixtape"- Butch Walker.
You say hello, inside I'm screaming I love you
You say goodnight, in my mind
I'm sleeping next to you
You drive away from my car crash of a heart
And I don't know
But you gave me the best mixtape I have
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I just wish there was so much more than that
About me and you
You talk to him, and it burns me like the sun
You talk to her, and you say that you feel like he's the one
I talk to me, but you can't hear the pain I feel
You don't know
Cause you gave me the best mixtape I have
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I only wish there was more than that
About me and you
[Bridge]
Oh, don't turn around and say bye again
Yeah it crushes my head when you call me
Your friend and I'm not the same person
From back in the day in the back of the class
That you thought was gay
No I can't find the words cause I lost them
The minute they fell out of my mouth
And it's love and I'm in it, so give me your lips
And just let me kiss 'em
And let's get messed up and listen to possibly...
The best mixtape I have
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I just wish there was more than that
About me and you...

so i figured i'd start a good entry with a good song. i'm in last period. sir nicolas came into school today with crutches. he's so cute.

Watching Cartoons...

2005-05-21T17:24:38Z

so yeah. last entry = i Heart sir nicolas. steph comments by :::shakes head::: what has my teenage world come to? i went to sacred last night. i was supposed to go for goodrow. turns out they played first and i got there as they were pulling away. i almost cried. next show is at the bayberry saloon? hope it's "all age's." saw stamp nazi. he wants to band me and emalee. how exciting.

just what i need... just what i need...

2005-05-20T13:12:58Z

<3 sir nicolas.

I'll sport my brand new fashion of waking up with pants on at 4 in the afternoon!

2005-05-18T22:50:17Z

so nothing good's really happened. i saw nick today <333. he waved to me and did his little lovey smile. and i think bruce wants to rape me lmfao. he tried to play fight with me as an excuse to hold my hand. jesus. 2 days till goodrow!

i wrote this for you (for you) you need him...

2005-05-16T01:18:03Z

so only good thing about today was i saw my lovely sir nicolas. i went to wallmart with cuzzy jimmy and he walked in. i was like.. yes! so i had my breaking the silence shirt on and he goes "i like your shirt'' and i put my arms out and he gave me a hug. yeah . night.

emily's tucked under blankets...

2005-05-13T12:40:54Z

not in a good mood today. people blow. depressed as usual. let's take some quizzes.

You scored as Loner.

</td>

Loner

100%

Drama nerd

75%

Punk/Rebel

50%

Prep/Jock/Cheerleader

50%

Goth

50%

Geek

50%

Stoner

50%

Ghetto gangsta

What's Your High School Stereotype?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Demon. Demon: Darkness is your sanctuary. Demons are many and are all different in appearence and rank. The most common are the ones that feed off of human souls. They love to make someone fall into their inner darkness. Blood, wrath, murder... You name it they love it. These beings don't care who you are, if they set their sights on you, let's just hope you know a good excorist. They kill any love within you and pull you toward their side. By any means possible. You wish for chaos and hate, you are the Demon.

</td>

Demon

100%

Mermaid

75%

WereWolf

75%

Dragon

50%

Angel

25%

Faerie

What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!)
created with QuizFarm.com

so pardon me while i burst into flames...

2005-05-13T01:31:22Z

Take the quiz: "what kind of drug are you? (includes pictures)"

ketamine.
you are ketamine. special, trippy, outgoing and spiritual.

Take the quiz: "What type of kisser are you?"

Romantic kisser
This kind of kisser will be a good husband or wife.

Take the quiz: "How pretty are you?"

You are pretty!
Congrats! You are pretty, and you like to look pretty too. You are a clean, caring person with lots of freinds. You have a GREAT personality.

Take the quiz: "what r u going to look like when u die *pics*"

aww you so peaceful when you dead
awww you look so nice i just want to put your body under my bed and leave you there

so take take everything and leave me scrambling...

2005-05-10T12:23:05Z

so lovely little sir nicolas has a tattoo now. it says "Live Life" and it's on his forearm. so does marty. age wise.. i got them beat though. so yesterday jason mike and joe came over. we hung out and they skated out front. theyre pretty cool. mike sounds a bit pre puberty :P but theyre older than i am.

You scored as Doug.

</td>

Kablam!

100%

Doug

100%

Rocko's Modern Life

100%

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

67%

The Adventures of Pete and Pete

67%

Double Dare

67%

Ren & Stimpy

67%

Rugrats

67%

The Secret World of Alex Mack

67%

Clarissa Explains It All

33%

Legends of the Hidden Temple

33%

Which Old School Nickelodeon Show Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Helena - My Chemical Romance. You are "Helena" by My Chemical Romance. You have a dark outlook and a dark sense of humor. You are confused right now, with your life but mainly with your love. It's hard for you to let people go, but sometimes you have to. You tend to put trust and faith in people that others may not. You see the good in people.

</td>

Cute without the 'E' - Taking Back Sunday

100%

You know what they do to guys like us in prison - My Chemical Romance

100%

Helena - My Chemical Romance

100%

Feeling This - Blink 182

100%

The Middle - Jimmy Eat World

80%

Too Far Gone - All American Rejects

80%

Save Me - Unwritten Law

80%

You're So Last Summer - Taking Back Sunday

80%

Minority - Green Day

80%

Buried a Lie - Senses Fail

60%

Home - Three Days Grace

60%

Work - Jimmy Eat World

60%

Burnout - Green Day

40%

What emo/rock song are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

ok so tonight was fucking off the wall crazy. i was at home and j and joe came over. like an hour later some kid comes speeding by and he stops and talks to them. turns out his name is kolt and he was fucking hot. and there were two other dudes: alex and.. someone. so they left and kolt said hi to me.. i was like.. yes. so they came back a little while later and were all hyper. so i asked them what was up and there was a fight with justin (our side) and ed at fdr. so i thought they were all going to go and leave me. thought wrong. i started walkin away and kolt's like "get your ass in this car!" so i ran and got in. talk about being cramped up. he sped all the way there. i swear he was going 90+.h so we got to fdr and i was shaking. i thought it was going to be a big fight but when we got there it turned out to be a whole bunch of preppy hollister fags who didn't even like the kid on their side. so long story short we left. no justin, no ed, no fight. kolt took me and j and joe back to my house. i got out of the car and they were kinda laughing so i turned around and he's like "you better hit that jay" and j gave him the finger and then he goes"hey joe, you know you want that!" and joe's like "ohhh yeah""" and i kept walking and kolt looks at me and he goes "well one of you better get that because if you don't i will" "she's sexy man. i'd bang her" he waved at me and drove away. i thought i was going to piss myself.

my eyes burn from these tears...

2005-05-09T14:42:55Z

took some quizzes in boredom.

You're Brigitte Bardot!

What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Take the quiz: "What piercing are you?"

Lip
You're not one of the popular kids, but who cares? you like it that way. you would rather die than be part of their crowd. you may doubt yourself at times but you know you're cool!

Take the quiz: "Whats your "true theme song" ~PICTURES~"

Pretty girl By;Sugarcult
If you get told all the time your beautiful but you don't believe it. You can never find that one special person that you've been looking for...but your a pretty girl right? It does'nt make sense to you...if your beautiful but you always seems like theres no guys who like you...to you love is an excuse to get hurt...and don't worry your just like me.

well after school i saw the man who is named fucking Travis amobile. he isn't really the man. i just think he has the funniest name in history. i waved to him and he actually smiled at me and waved back. awww. lol and eriks finally on. i missed him x9075897193857. but im out. peace bitches

we drive tonight... and you are by my side...

2005-05-06T12:35:52Z

so me and michelle are friends again. mother and charlie fought this morning. i want to go home again. i got a hug from nick this morning. him and kalief were playfully battling over me! that was... awesome. but i would so totally rather have sir nicolas. even though he is 18/19? anyway.. i might so go sacred grounds with russell, emalee, dan, shawn, and whoever tonight. i want to see Le Stamp Nazi again. he's a pimp. i'll write later.

<3

to put it nicely i hope you choke...

2005-05-04T12:30:40Z

michelle... where can i start. i'm fucking sorry.

i know it's hurting you, but it's killing me...

2005-05-03T12:35:01Z

last night i went to pizza depot to get norm and marty was there. turns out they made a dvd of the concert. it shows me getting nailed with marks guitar pick. awesome. so i talked to marty for a bit which was cool and i talked to him online also. me norm and em went to the burlington mall. blackest one i've seen yet. but there was a hot emo kid there. he looked like sonny with curly hair. oh la la . today michelle's mad at me. oh well. russell brought his geetar in. i want to hear him play it.

never meant to be so cold to you, im sorry about all the lies...

2005-05-02T12:35:42Z

so i didn't do anything all of friday and saturday. i stayed in all fucking emo-ed out.

MARRY ME... would you burry me...

2005-04-29T12:24:49Z

this morning started out fucking a perfect. i came to school and i walked to the cafeteria to find shawn. so out of no where comes nick and marty. i said hi to marty first then nick. so i walked over to them and marty's like "yeah you're one of the lucky one's. nick's throwing his shirt to you at the concert tonight." i almost effin' pissed myself. and nick's like "and a used condom too." and he winked at me. so i just talked to them for a few minutes and it was pretty cool. i like those kids. especially nick :P

ok so now it's 10:02 p.m. and i just got home from the best/worst night of my life. i went to sacred and breaking the silence was first. i was all ready for this with my roses in hand. i get there and who do i see but fucking joe. next i saw drew. and finally the rest of the assholes. so nick hugged me a few times before the show and he saw the roses and said "oh are they for me?" and i smiled and said "yes." and he's like "awww really. you're so sweet." so the show goes on and he's singing "done with you" and all of a sudden he kisses some girl in the audience... i got kinda mad. i almost took the flowers and fucking trashed them. so he sings the little emo song and i threw the rose up to him and he's like "aw i love you too babe". and be blew me a kiss. i was on the fukcing moon.then he keeps singing and gets in all our faces and shit. so concerts over and i got mark and marty's guitar picks. that was cool. i asked mark if he could teach me how to play geetar and he said yes. i got a hug from him and he signed my shirt. then i talked to marty for a bit. i also got a hug and a signature. i got eddie to sign too. nick on the other hand went crazy. he signed my shirt and all that she-bangin' shit. and he kept huggin me and he kissed me on the head twice. and when he left all i heard was "where's danielle?" his new fucking girlfriend, claims andrew.but i asked nick when he hugged me for like the billionth time if she was his girlfriend and he said no. thank god. even though i don't believe in god... yeah i got a hug or two from andrew also. and nick left and i started crying. i just felt like a fucking idiot and then i was like oh man, i have to go home after this. and i sat by the fence and just cried. and russell came to my rescue. me and him talked alone for about an hour and i cried the whole time. it was fucking scary because he's the boy version of me. everthing that he fucked up with, i'm fucking up with now and it was just sad. but now i'm hom eand i'm still bawlin and i hope things in my life and russell's get better. sam, im sorry for ruining your night. emalee, im sorry about your night too. i didnt mean to make people sad for me. i hate fucking pitty parties. but i'll enclose this entry with a little poem by moi...

new poem:
let's lock lips
so i can shove my tounge down your throat.
maybe if i'm lucky,
you'll fucking choke.
so fuck all your lyrics
and burn all my roses.
you break hearts like the west was won.

the scars run deep inside my tattooed body....

2005-04-28T14:40:25Z

boring so far. came to school, saw nick hill, shawn, emalee, and mike. said hi to m.b. got a 96 on my l'italiano test. go me. maybe my grades are actually going to get better. so school goes on and the end was the best part. i was standing on the corner waiting and who do i see walking towards me but nick, marty, and FUCKING ANDREW! i got so happy. marty and gabby walked the other way but nick and andrew walked over to me. i hugged andrew. i haven't seen him in so long and i missed him so bad. i didn't want to let go... :'-( i thought i was going to cry when he walked away. and then nick walked over to me with directions to sacred. i already know how to get there. so i said "screw the directions, how 'bout a hug?" so he pushed me up against my aunt's car and gave me a nice ... hug. today was ... ok. i mean i wrote a poem about the hate for my dad and i've been like depressed all day. and to see andrew made it worse because i used to have a big thing for him and he was over my house like everyday last year and i just missed that. oh well.. kids grow up.

<3

i'm fucking depressed. thanks dad.

don't worry about me... i'll be okay...

2005-04-27T21:45:42Z

today was boring. me and emalee just laid around. we watched napolean dynamite and ginger snaps. not much to tell today. danny is here and brother dear is comming over. i'm tired. going to go now. peace kids.

i love you for the rest of forever <3

like a bullet through a flock of doves, they say....

2005-04-26T14:40:05Z

today was much much better than yesterday. i poured out of bed by 5:30. i wore my dickies and scatter the ashes shirt with my green sacred hoodie. i went into wawa and while i was in the car i saw the dude down the hall running back and the curly haired kid was in his car. so we went to wawa and i looked at him. this was the first time i acutally saw his face and he was kinda cute. so he said hi to me, but since i a, kinda sick, my voice was a bit raspy. i didn't want to say anything to him so i just mumbled hi. he waved and paid for his stuff and the whole time he was walking away.. he was looking at me and smiling. wow that was kind of nice to have someone pretty attractive stare at you. well, it is for me anyway. i went to school and saw nick briefly. i didn't say hi though. first period sucked. i was walking with michelle before italian class and she stepped on a bit of my pants and ripped the bottoms! oh well. so i walked up to italian and saw marty. i said "Hi kid" and he laughed and said "what's up." that's good enough for me. i feel like shit man. my head hurts, i feel like i'm gonna hurl, my nose is all stuffy, my voice is weird and ugh. i still have to go home and dye my hair. thanks the stars we have off tomorrow. oh man. the saddest thing happened yesterday. my cuzzy jimmy, who is 19, who's always the good one, always responsible, found out that he's a father. he's only been messing around with this girl for a while. they don't even really like eachother. i never could understand their relationship/.

don't worry about me.. i'll be okay...

2005-04-25T14:38:09Z

i got to school and i went to the cafeteria to find erik been, and he had my breaking the silence (who by the way is nick hill's band) shirt. i said hi to nick as usual :D . so i put it on and when i'm walking up to italian class i see marty b. and he looks at me and smiles and says "hi, nice shirt." that was fucking-a-right awesome.i just let out a tiny laugh i guess you'd call it... and i think i said thanks. i'm so damn quiet these days, that when people actually find a reason to talk to me i barely know what to say. except for emalee. she's my confession box. so i continued on with the rest of my day. dramatic events have occured between today and yesterday and i'm sure they'll be there 'till the next morrow. michelle, who used to be my best friend in the world, has completely changed. we used to basically spend every waking minute together and now we barely talk in the halls. way to ruin a good thing, right? well turns out that her and russell obviously are no longer together and she goes out with someone who she knows russell hates to begin with. well someone broke the news to him and my heart fucking sank. i swear to the stars it was one of the saddest things i have ever seen. his heart must've sank like mine because he was clearly on the verge of tears. i have never seen him show any emotions besides happiness or anger. why tears now? he looked like a lost boy who needed someone to come save him. was that someone supposed to be me? i felt helpless in a way i've never felt before. to see this boy, a ball of anger, basically crumble infront of my eyes. i couldn't handle it. christ i had to choke back my own tears. shawn, mike, emalee, and i tried to comfort him, but the words of a friend can only help so much when it comes to a broken heart. we detached from one another and went on with our day. each of us feeling a little less complete then we already are. i hung my head the rest of the day. i tried to come up with something to help him feel a little better, but nothing ever comes to mind when you need it. emalee and i walked out of school. the 5 of us left without so much as uttering a single word to one another. there will always be tomorrow, as they've said. i hope my tomorrow will be better, as goes for emalee, shawn, russell, and mike. i stood on the corner and miserably waited for my ride alone with emalee and the sound of my chemical romance blasting from my headphones. usually after i listen to them i get quite... sad i guess? i don't know why.. but i do. and today poor gerard way and frank iero had no lasting effect on me. marty then drove by and i figured i might as well wave and try to make a new friend. that'd be nice. i mean after all, he is nick's friend. and i ... admire? nick greatly. he's awesome to the core. and it's said that in most cases friends share similar personalities, so i'm guessing he might be something like nick. and that's pretty damn good. well i'm off to go pretend to do homework and look up the star conditions for tonight. i hope it's suitable for sneaking out with my telescope...

erik, the 4th day without you and i'm going fucking mad. i heart you to the moon and back <3

ghey fucking test thingy....

2005-04-24T17:43:07Z

name: Lexx

nickname(s): lexii, Kelli, princess kelli

Age:: 14

Height:: 5'2'' 1/2

Natural hair color:: light blonde-ish. ew.
Eye color:: clear blue

Number of siblings:: 2 step brothers

Glasses/contacts?:: want contacts and should wear glasses... but i don't.

Piercings:: ears-4 each

Tattoos:: ofcourse. 1.

Braces?:: never ever

FAVORITE

Color::black
Band:: HIM

Song:: Silver and cold- A.F.i

Stuffed animal::Buster.. he's a bunny.

Video game:: don't play them. but if i must say... PACMAN!

TV show::viva la bam.. must it be questioned?

Movie(s):: the crow, the outsiders, the ring, the lost boys, SLC punk

Book::cut, blood and chocolate, the outsiders

Food:: salad...

Game on a cell phone:: just pressing random numbers i guess?

CD cover:: hm... From first to last

Flower:: a blood red rose

Scent:Bambii- v.i.a. hot topic

Comic book:: spiderman and slc punk

Cereal:: honeycombs

Website:: fftl.net bamargera.com heartagram.com purevolume.com

Cartoon:: the grim adventures of Billy and Mandy, spiderman, fairly odd parents, futurama, and family guy

Play an instrument?:: gee-tar bitches. acoustic. and i used to be a little drummer kid.

Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?:: nah i sit on aim all day.

Like to sing?:: yessum

Have a job?:: lookin'

Have a cell phone?:: nope.

Like to play sports?:: hackey sack and skateboarding are my sports

Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?:: yes

Have a crush on someone?:: DUh..

Who? erik

Live somewhere NOT in the united states?:: no

Have more than 5 TVs in your house?:: no. are you crazy. 3 people.

Have any special talents/skills?:: i dunno

Excercise daily?:: sometimes

Like school?:: are you out of your fucking mind!

CAN YOU

Sing the alphabet backwards?:: no

Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?:: no

Speak any other languages?:: italian, french, spanish

Go a day without food?:: atleast 2 or 3

Stay up for more than 24 hours?:: do it quite often

Read music, not just tabs?:: yep

Roll your tongue?:: yeah

Eat a whole pizza?:: ew

HAVE YOU EVER Snuck out of the house?:: do it all the time at night to go stargazing.

Cried to get out of trouble?:: yes

Gotten lost in your city?:: stupidly.. yes.

Seen a shooting star?:: yeah on 2.21.05 ;)

Been to any other countries besides the united states?:: no but i would like to go to FINLAND!

Had a serious surgery?:: no

Stolen something important to someone else?::no

Solved a rubiks cube?:: no.. only a genius could possibly do that.

Gone out in public in your pajamas?::yes

Kissed a random stranger?:: long story. long ago.

Been in a fist fight?:: yeah

Been arrested?:: no

ushed all the buttons on an elevator?::ofcourse.. to piss the suit off infront of me.

Been to a casino?:: walked through

Broken a bone?:: ankle. on a quarterpipe with my skateboard.

Gotten stitches?:: no

Been to disneyland/disneyworld?::nope. i've been deprived!

Burped in someones face?:: no.. nasty.

Gotten the chicken pox?:: yes

WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU

Brushed your teeth:: 10 minutes ago.
Went to the bathroom:: last night

Saw a movie in theaters:: hmm.. vanhelsing..you do the math.

read a book:: a week ago

Had a snow day:: a couple months sgo

Had a party:: 12th birthday party. my next is going to fukcing rock all emotastic parties.

went to the grocery store:: months ago.

Cursed:: 3 seconds ago.

PICK ONE

Fruit/vegetables:: fruit
Black/white:: black
Lights on/lights off:: off :P
TV/movie:: movie
Car/truck:: car
Body spray/lotion:: body spray
Cash/check:: $$ cash $$
Pillows/blankets:: blanket
Headache/stomach ache:: headache
Paint/charcoal:: paint
Chinese food/mexican food:: chinese
Summer/winter:: winter. it's so dead and dreary.. like moi.
Snow/rain:: rain. aw how emo..
Fog/misty:: fog
Rock/rap:: rock
Chocolate/vanilla:: vanilla
Sprinkles/icing:: icing
Cake/pie:: pie
French toast/french fries:: french toast
Strawberries/blueberries:: strawberries
Ocean/swimming pool:: swimming pool
Hugs/kisses:: kisses!
Cookies/muffins:: cookies
Wallet/pocket:: wallet in back pocket.
Pink/purple:: purple
Cat/dog:: cat. i <3 my little merlin!
Long sleeve/short sleeve:: short sleeve
Pants/shorts:: pants

FRIENDSHIP

How many friends do you have?:: not many
What are their names?:: emalee, emmitt, sir nicolas, michelle, russell, dan, shawn, erik, jenn, jenna, manz, manda.
Do you have a best friend?:: emalee.. duh
Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?::girls i guess
Whats an inside joke between you and a friend?::the comming of the red and the black

Have you ever gotten in a big arguement with a friend?:: yes
Whats the nicest thing youve ever done for a friend?:: who cares. most of them have fucked me over anyway
Whats the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you?:: tell me they loved me and actually ment it.
Do you miss any of your old friends?:: yes. jess d.
What do you think your friends think of you?::too depressed/
WORD ASSOCIATION

Slippers:: grandma
Red:: blood
Deep:: lyrical meaning
Heart:: erik
Cheese:: yumm
Rain:: let's sit in the window sill
Bed:: yawn
Hardcore:: sid vicious
want::erik
need:: erik
miss:: erik
am annoyed by:: people who repeatedly fuck me over
am tired of:: people
will always:: be miserable

SILLY STUFF
What is your favourite genre of music?:: emo/punk rock
What time is it now?::1:43 p.m.
What day is it?:: Sunday

Whens the last time you called someone?:: last night. russell and shawn.
How much money do you have right now?:: $10 for concert next week.
Are you hungry?:: no
Whatcha doin?:: getting ready with emalee to go to my aunts for dinner
Do you like parades?:: no

FOR OR AGINST
airplanes:: against
rock music:: for
gay marriage:: for
school:: fuck school.
surveys:: against. too long.
parents:: for
cars:: for
killing:: if it's necessary :D
britney spears:: who cares.
coffee:: for

WOULD YOU EVER

Sky dive?:: no
Play strip poker?:: been there done that. not all off though! :X
Run away?:: DUH
Curse at a teacher?:: yep
Not take a shower for a week?:: uh no.
Ask someone out?:: have done that and failed
Lie to someone to make them think better of you?:: age wise.. yes.
Visit a foreign country for more than a month?:: FINLAND!
Go scuba diving?:: no
Write a book?:: yah
Become a rockstar?:: yep

LAST QUESTIONS

What shampoo do you use?:: garnier fructise
What kind of computer do you have?::sony VIAO
Do you like to throw popcorn at people in the movies?:: yepp
Or just make out?::sure why not.
How many posters do you have in your room?:: 5
How many cds do you have?:: 60+

and now i'm done with you and all the shit you put me through...

2005-04-22T14:36:14Z

so i'm in school writing this. school's fucking boring. tonight my plans are to hang in good 'ol b-town with emalee. we'll probably walk around like idiots. maybe we'll see some cool people we don't know. who knows. we're not going to the rink though. i don't want to go back there anyway.

besides, a purple sky is better soaring for you my angel...

2005-04-20T21:44:47Z

nothing what so ever today. stayed home from school due to my sudden illness. it isn't really an illness.. but whatever.

"They named a Disease after me, man."
"you are a disease..." -SlC punk

didn't eat or sleep. i just sat here bored for hours. damn it.

no erik for 3 days :(

i <3 you

said to me that i'm not the one....

2005-04-18T18:38:07Z

well right now i'm with my lovely little emalee. brooklyn actually offered to take me. like whoa! miraclistic! i don't think that's a real word. and i'm listening to my new favorite band "goodrow" they rock the east fucking coast. lol i'm a psycho. today is my lover's birthday! yay! he's 17. whoops i feel a bit young now. XD it's all good. later on mother dearest is taking me and em to the burlington mall. i'll write later.

i love you x1897398527598
happy birthday lovey.

a.f.i-silver and cold
I... I came here by day, but I left here in darkness
And found you, found you on the way
And now, it is silver and silent, it is silver and cold
You, in somber resplendence, I hold

Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one
Your sins into me
As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer
And I'll beg for forgiveness
(Your sins into me) Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one

Light, like the flutter of wings, feel your hollow voice rushing into me
As you're longing to sing
So I... I will paint you in silver, I will wrap you in cold
I will lift up your voice as I sink

Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one, now
Your sins into me
As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer
And I'll beg for forgiveness
(Your sins into me) Your sins into me

Cold in life's throws, I'll fall asleep for you
Cold in life's throws, I only ask you turn away
Cold in life's throws, I'll fall asleep for you
Cold in life's throws, I only ask you turn
As they seep... into me, oh, my beautiful one, now

Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one
Your sins into me
As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer
And I'll beg for forgiveness
(Your sins into me)
Your sins into me... oh

Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one, now
Your sins into me
As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer
And I'll beg for forgiveness
(Your sins into me) Your sins into...
(Your sins into me) Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one